Love that hoodie thing

My homie Mesfin did an amazing job on this interview with Rihanna. I'm still getting over the sound of her voice. I honestly don't remember her speaking -- ever -- before she sat down with Diane Sawyer earlier this week.

Oh, and I'm really just posting this joint 'cause Mr. Fekadu is the business, and so is Rihanna's hoodie dress thing.

Super Weird Brown Chick ... I like it

Check out the Noisettes "Never Forget You."


Oh, and click here, for "Wild Young Hearts."

Latest Theory in Love: He Ain't Bad, He Just Ain't Ready

[Well, dag! More than a month away from the blogs? That just ain't right. -- I have plans for something new, but until then, I shall continue posting over here. And by "continue" I mean I'm going to post something tonight, and perhaps something some other night before 2010. But don't hold me to it. ;)]

He ain’t bad, he’s just not ready.

It sounds like a bad movie title, but it’s a simple truth that makes the dating field look a lot less treacherous.

Consider it: your friend circle probably includes at least one or more men who are employed, attractive, good to his mama but not living with her, funny, fun-loving and all those other things that make for a good guy.

But for whatever reason, this guy doesn’t want to be anybody’s boyfriend. Or maybe he wouldn’t mind being a beau, but he isn’t feeling the husband thing.

Whatever the case, at some point in time, you considered him to be Exhibit A in the Why I Hate Dating museum: a guy who looks like a good companion on paper, but two months into dating, his lack of commitment – or more likely, consistency – sends the prospect of long-term love into a downward spiral, ending in a thud of disappointment heard in girl circles around the globe.

Yeah, these brothers who have their lives together but say they aren’t ready to commit – they do, indeed, disappoint women who hope for serious companionship. But sometimes we forget that, yes, having it together is a prerequisite for being husband, or even boyfriend-material. But to be fair – having it together doesn't automatically obligate a brotha to take on either of those roles.

I have a close friend – we’ll just call him Sean. He’s almost like a brother to me.

Sean plans the dopest dates imaginable – the coolest rooftop lounges, the swankiest steakhouses, cute concerts in the summertime. He always pays, and tips well, too! But if you’re looking for a husband, then you’re looking in the wrong place.

The truth, as I see it, is that Sean will continue to date-and-disappoint (the unsuspecting). That is, until one day, when he wakes up, and decides he’d like to share his luxury vehicle, plush couch and precious time with one woman.

It might take him a couple months, maybe a year or more – hell, maybe less – and he’ll find that woman. Will this chick have what all the other chicks didn’t? No, probably not. In fact, she may not be as bright, as funny, as mean in the kitchen or the bedroom as any of the previous ladies. But one thing is for sure – homegirl can say she had good timing.

As far as I can tell, most women spend years playing India.Arie’s “Ready For Love” – perhaps, not always seeking love, but at least being open to it. Men aren’t like that. When they’re not ready, they’re just not ready. No woman will walk into a Seans life and speed up the ripening process. She might get him closer – but unfortunately, he’ll probably exercise that readiness on a woman who comes along later. He’ll appreciate all that cooking, cleaning and good head and most likely look for it in the next chick. Thanks for upgrading his standards.

I heard the following philosophy years ago, and it still rings true. -- A woman 1) comes across a man and 2) decides she wants a man. A man 1) decides he wants a woman and then 2) goes and finds that woman.

There’s no such thing as convincing a guy he wants a chick as his girlfriend. No woman wears a man down, and through sheer persistence MAKES that man decide to be her man. Women hold the power of the “yes” and the “no,” but guys hold the power of the question. If no man is asking, then honey, one thousands yes’s don’t do a thing, but waste your time.

Maybe it sounds like a bum deal for women, but hey, if you take your time and communicate, then there’s a good chance you can suss out the Ready from the Not Ready. And just because he isn’t ready doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good date or a proper romp (depending on what you want).

I like to think that eventually you’ll run across a guy who is ready. And don’t worry – the universe is somewhat fair. Just as you are on somebody’s long list of Good Women Who I Let Get Away, you’ll take the prize spot next to a man who likely has his own long list of disappointed “previous (almost) owners.”

Enjoy it.

And in the meantime, try not to pass too much judgment on these “Not Ready” fellas. The one who leads you on, however – go ahead and punch that bastard in his good eye. That mess is just unacceptable.

SKOOB TV

Lot of folks make big plans, but I'm ALWAYS AMAZED when friends actually follow through on their dreams.

My homie Skoob, of myhomeboysaid.blogspot.com fame, is one of those friends. Check him out!

Black Dynamite

My homie CN, who puts me on the new ish with great frequency, just sent me a link to the following trailer. -- The flick is in theaters on Oct. 16, but why hadn't I heard of it sooner?

"I Love You More"

Tweet (and I ain't talkin' 'bout Twitter) has always been one of my favorites -- I mean, "Smokin' Cigarettes," anyone? Right. So when I tripped across this collabo with self-proclaimed "fly nerd" P.J. Morton, I just had to listen.

It's a reggae/New Orleans-ish feel that I'm diggin. Ok, now, Tweet, girl, I'mma just need you to release something solo dolo. Hurr'up!

She Only Likes It When It's Hot

Among my life's crushes, Q-tip ranks rather high.

This song is really weird, but at least he goes hard. There's something to be said for folks who go all the way (unless you're talking about your post-prom plans, if you know what I mean.)

Anybody listen to the rest of the album?